Idiosyncratic Celebrations
I love holidays. I'm always up for a celebration. But there's often too much pressure to observe formal occasions as storybooks and Norman Rockwell paintings illustrate. So, as a counterbalance I devise my own slightly iconoclastic and certainly idiosyncratic special events! Almost anything warrants a holiday. In fact, the more mundane the better! And even when it's one of those annual affairs, I seem to always find some different way to observe them.


October 31, 2010


The Rally for Sanity? It Was Insane!

I positioned us at the Rally for a good photo op of the Capitol. At the last minute I decided to bring one of my Chamomile Tea Party posters to the Rally for Sanity here on the National Mall…


May 31, 2010


A Valuable Anniversary Gift

My anniversary gift, set to the time we were married. Click on image for larger view. Yesterday was our seventeenth wedding anniversary. And while I wasn’t expecting furniture, the traditional gift for this celebration, I definitely wasn’t expecting this!…


November 26, 2009


Thanks for the Meat and Heat

The view from our house. Click on image to enlarge. Woke up this Thanksgiving to dense fog. After a little breakfast in the peace and quiet of the early morning I put my coat on over my PJs and…


July 17, 2009


Sixty is the New Forty!

As I enter geezerhood my only consolation is that someday I’ll look back and say “Ah to be 60 again!” To those of you who might discount those of the older persuasion remember the words of John Bradford: “There…


June 12, 2009


Sweet Sixteen

The Happy Couple on Our Wedding Day Sixteen years. After sixteen years of marriage certain things fit perfectly. Two artists, we started with an artists’ wedding and each year we’re reminded of this beginning. It’s a day to remember…


February 14, 2009


A Presidential Portrait in Cupcakes

Portrait of Barack Obama and Abraham Lincoln in Cupcakes Click image for larger view. Fridays are supposed to be light days with anticipation of the upcoming weekend filling workers heads worldwide. Yesterday, was anything but as our anticipation was…


February 8, 2009


Anatomy of a Photograph

Details from some of my Inaugural portraits As I began to look at the photographs I shot during the Inauguration I realized how many portraits of people I had taken that day: from soldiers and police who were doing…


January 22, 2009


Celebrating with a Few Million Friends:
The Inauguration of Barack Obama

A “postcard” view of the Inauguration taken from the top of the Washington Monument. The circle marks our spot on the Mall. Click image for larger view. (The original can be found here.) My twelve year old daughter and…


January 17, 2009


Inauguration Porta-Potties #2

Pierson’s Comfort Group, LLC gets the award for the best slogan in the Porta-Potty business. Click image for detail. Don’t think me anal but I must continue my porta-potty report from yesterday. This morning the Washington Post is reporting…


January 16, 2009


Sizing Up the Inauguration

Porta-Potties Stand Ready and Waiting for Inaugural Hordes. Am I ready? Well, to be honest, I am a bit nervous. Will I be standing in a sea of four million out-of-towners or two million —many natives have decided to…


April 19, 2008


Passover: Oy, You’ll Get Such a Headache!

Let My People Go (or you’ll get the biggest headache)! When we were invited to a Passover Sedar this year my children needed to be reminded what it was all about (we don’t get invited to a sedar too…


January 8, 2008


The Bloggies

Honor. Prestige. Wealth. These are some of the things that a Bloggie won’t bring you. But that won’t stop the Web from voting, because this is the annual non-profit competition that determines which blogs are the best of the…


December 23, 2007


Believing in Santa One More Year

You might remember we dodged a bullet a few weeks ago over the Tooth Fairy. But the big question remains: does our youngest still believe in Santa? Last week I got a voicemail from my wife: “I just thought…


November 22, 2007


Giving Thanks for the Ride

Thanks for the ride! Thanksgiving: a uniquely American holiday. We’re supposed to stop what we’re doing long enough to remember and appreciate the good things and good people in our lives. No multitasking allowed, unless it’s basting a turkey…


August 1, 2007


Because I Could

My iPhone and me at Yosemite’s Half Dome. What would Samuel Morse have thought? “What hath God wrought?” John Muir would probably have agreed. My email message documenting this event: “We are blissful at this altitude.” Just returned from…


July 20, 2007


On Becoming “That Old”

I’ve been outted. At our monthly all-staff meeting the other day, before attending to the business at hand, I was asked to stand. It was my birthday and I found myself the center of attention. Suddenly, in that way-too-bright spotlight…


May 7, 2007


Mother’s Day: My Gift is a Loaded Question

If you’ve seen this bag, let me know. My wife will love it, especially if it will hold a few bottles of wine! As I sit by the subway door each morning on my commute to work I am…


November 8, 2006


A Hole in One!

The Dems knocked one right through this tree. [ Fall Foliage, Election, Democrats, ]…


July 29, 2006


Don’t Go in the Water (or to Silver Spring)

Hooper ya idiot. Starboard. Ain’t you watchin’ it? Quinn, from Jaws Killer hurricanes. Massive floods. Record heat waves. Earthquakes. Tsunamis. And now this. Huge sea creatures attacking high rise buildings in the burbs of our nation’s capital. This isn’t…


July 10, 2006


Put Another Candle on That Birthday Cake

An idyllic birthday from my past (that’s me on the left). My birthday approaches. And as it gets closer I must find a set of goodies to suggest when my family asks: “Daddy/Husband/Favorite Son-in-Law, what would you like for…


July 4, 2006


Happy Fourth!

Related Stories: Carpe Diem and The Washington Post’s Patriotic Parades With Political Flair [ July 4th, Independence Day ]…


June 17, 2006


Football: It’s a Vesica Piscis!

Stewie Griffin and Arnold: fitting namesakes for our American football. It’s the World Cup and EVERYBODY has football fever. Everybody but Americans. Ok, not all Americans. Everybody south of our soon-to-be fortified US-Mexican border is glued to their TV….


February 11, 2006


The XX Winter Olympiad: Let the Politics Begin

NBC’s Brian Williams waxes political at the Turino Olympic Opening Ceremonies (Quicktime, 2.1 MB). Click image to begin video. Last night I sat down with my family to watch the opening ceremonies of the XX Olympic Winter Games. A…


February 5, 2006


Five Years of Sticking it to the Man

Five Years of Sticking it to the Man. Click on the image above to watch a self-tribute to my years in the blogosphere. (Quicktime 4.5 MB). And don’t forget to take a look at the inspiration for this little…


January 1, 2006


A Visit from the Salad People

My family and I usually spend New Year’s Eve quietly together. No loud parties and no dodging the inebriated on the roads. We are not on everybody’s party list. In fact, I don’t think we’re on anybody’s party list —it’s…


December 31, 2005


And Days of Auld Lang Syne

New Year’s Eve: a time to reflect on what was and look ahead to new possibilities. Well, I’ve never been one to follow tradition. Why, I’ve already started my annual January clean and tidy around Chez Gates and it’s still…


October 9, 2005


Not Lost in Translation

On our recent family trip to Disneyland I noticed something new: all the announcements and cautionary instructions for rides were both in English and Spanish. The all-American theme park had changed in a remarkable way. My Southern California friends are…


October 1, 2005


Resetting My Monthly Calendar

A new month: time to reset my internal calendar to remember birthdays and pay bills for October. If your birthday happens to be at the beginning of the month, you might not get your birthday greeting from me on time….


July 17, 2005


Truth, Justice, and the American Way

What better way to celebrate my birthday than by engaging in a bit of political resampling. So, for my special day I give all of you this visual commentary on the latest goings-on just down the street: No one is…



A Birthday Present from Apple

Apple’s iCal application icon displays my birthday. I get that little tingly feeling (yes, tingly!) every time I see this icon on a Mac user’s monitor. It’s for Apple’s calendar program iCal. And I feel like every iCal user…


July 3, 2005


Revising the Pledge

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. The Original Pledge of Allegiance Francis Bellamy, 1892 As July 4th drew near, real estate agents began…


February 27, 2005


The Other Gates

Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s The Gates is a spectacle consistent with [the Renaissance art tradition], a piece of elaborate social theater that’s an unintentional portrait of our time. That portrait can be poignant and charming; most of all, it’s funny….


January 16, 2005


What Not to Bring to the Inauguration Parade

As a bone-chilling drizzle fell on Washington, D.C., George W. Bush was inaugurated as the 43rd president of the United States, surrounded by both his strongest supporters and his most embittered detractors. In the crowd, Texans, many conspicuous in…


January 8, 2005


Don’t Blog Our Love

Afraid to let your favorite blogger know their limits? Let Outtacontext t-shirts, coffee mugs, and notebooks make it easy for you. Numerous news reports and articles have outlined the perils of blogging. People have lost their jobs for what…


December 24, 2004


Procrastinating is Such a Dirty Word
A Very Last Minute Gift Suggestion

For all you gift-giving procrastinators out there here’s a very last minute item for your loved ones: their own domain name. You will keep your sanity (no vain attempts to find a mall parking spot) and the price is…


December 5, 2004


Jeff Gates’ Patented Seven Step Gift Giving System

I am far from perfect. But I do have two stellar traits I will admit to: I have a good and true sense of direction and I am a great gift giver. I know these things because at this…


November 26, 2004


Missing in Action

I lost my iPod. One minute I was listening to This American Life while waiting for my sister-in-law, Janet, to pick me up at the subway’s “Kiss and Ride.” The next we were in front of her house. As I…


November 7, 2004


Leaves: The Great Divide

The neighborhood’s lawns reflect the great divide between the Dead Leaf Browns and the Dichondra Greens. It’s time for our annual Leaf Blowing Festival. We live at the edge of a forest of Tulip Poplar trees and each fall…


July 5, 2004


Carpe Diem

Here in Washington there are numerous local parades on July 4th —very local parades, like through the streets of housing developments. These take place all over the region, and, as I suspected, they are staggered so politicians can go…


July 4, 2004


In Search Of

Everyone’s talking the finer points of Fahrenheit 9/11. The Lies. The Truth. You conservative bastard. Now listen here you commie liberal. Michael Moore’s a documentarian. No, his film is editorializing at its worst! Calm down, folks. It’s only a…


February 22, 2004


Just Plain Folks

Washington Post article from February 1997 featuring my friends David and Les (on the left) My best friend from high school, David, got married to Les last weekend. Finally. We were wondering if they’d ever make it legal. Those…


November 10, 2003


A Man and His Leaves

As sure as Indian Summer recedes, falling leaves ensue. That means it’s time for the Gates’ annual Falling Leaf Blowing Festival. Whereas last year’s festivities were attended by millions (of leaves), this year’s numbers are way down. The threat…


November 2, 2003


No Pains, But a Lot of Kisses

We’re having Indian Summer in our nation’s capital. Yesterday the temperature rose to 80 degrees (27 C). Today will be the same. It is a day when not riding your bike in padded Lycra® bicycle shorts should be a…


July 17, 2003


Many Years Ago, On a Day Just Like Today

Related Link: This Day in (My) History…


July 4, 2003


Born on the 4th of July

As I turned onto my street yesterday after work I immediately noticed a small American flag had been planted in front of every house on our block. Independence Day was just a day away and someone had decided this…


May 30, 2003


Such a Match!

September 15, 1990 It was a match made in an art gallery. I was there to support Maryland Art Place in its annual bid to keep its head above water. She had a piece in the benefit show. It was…


December 26, 2002


Pessimism By Any Other Name Is Not Pessimism

Was it visions of sugarplums that made my Christmas Eve day commute to work so sweet? Or was it President Bush’s “pardon” for all us Federal workers one half day of freedom for the upcoming holiday? No, as I…


November 23, 2002


Turning Over a Few New Leaves: The Backstory

I have always been interested in the social aspects of technology: that is, how new ideas brought on by technological development seep into the everyday lives of regular folk. In the last few months I’ve been contacted with greater…


October 30, 2002


Now This is Really Scary

I don’t think we’ll ever be ready for John Allen Muhammad or John Lee Malvo Halloween costumes. But if you’re still undecided about who you would like to be tomorrow night, there is still a overabundance of very scary public…


August 4, 2002


On Becoming a Man Again

Forty years ago I became a man. In the Jewish sense. August 4th, 1962 I was bar miztvahed. It was actually the 4th of Av, 5722 on the Jewish calendar. And that day actually fell on July 13 this…


July 17, 2002


This Day in (My) History

Every year it’s the same cast of characters: Phyllis Diller, Art Linkletter, Lucy Arnaz, and Donald Sutherland. All were born on July 17. And every year I make sure I tune in on Entertainment Tonight on this day to…


May 1, 2002


The Memory Project

My name was Chaim Shmuel Guyetsky. My friends call me Jeff. My father calls me Chaim Shmo when he teases me and Jeffrey when he’s about to invoke his fatherly rights of advice. I’m a Jewish boy in a…


April 22, 2002


The Wind in My Hair and My Feet on the Pedals

Today’s Primo Giro Grande della Bicicletta con il Giorno Correttamente Gonfiato delle Gomme, a celebration of my first bike ride of the year! The April weather has been unseasonable warm, more like June. Warm, dry weather is my favorite,…


December 21, 2001


Finding More Than My Hat

It’s ¡El Día Más Corto del Año Pero de los Días Está Consiguiendo más Largo y Soy Día Feliz! This is one of my most favorite holidays! Yes, it’s the advent of winter (my second least favorite season) and I…


December 10, 2001


Moving Forward on a Number of Fronts

If you remember, I was consumed by preparations for our annual Leaf Blowing Festival. While the weather has been incredibly mild for a DC fall and it seemed more like May than November, the festival was a smashing success! We…


October 28, 2001


Spores, Spores, and More Spores

Spores, spores, spores! That’s all we’ve been hearing about here in DC. And it’s clear those pesky little things are harder to control than the CDC originally thought. It is making me just a tad nervous. But what’s really…


July 14, 2001


Following Directions: The Road to Nowhere

If you remember, back in May Le Premier Fauchage de Pelouse du Festival de Saison marked the beginning of the lawn mowing season. You might also remember that we’ve been having trouble with the belt that propels the lawn mower…


March 1, 2001


Celebrating Equinox Day

Yesterday was my Personal Equinox Day. That’s the day when the sun is shining both when I leave for work and when I return home. This celestial event changes every year, depending on my schedule. This time it was later…