September 16, 2008

It’s 3 a.m. Who Do You Want Answering the Phone?

The political events of the last two weeks have ignited my creative juices. I wake up in the middle of the night with a strategy I quickly tweet to @BarackObama. I can’t help myself. This morning in the shower I came up with this ad, a take-off on Hillary’s 3 a.m. special. News cycles these days run in nano seconds and given those constraints I have no time to produce it. I need to get it out there fast. Here’s the script Barack (and if you don’t want it will you pass it on to SNL?):


Close-up of John McCain sleeping in bed. The phone rings.


It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. But there’s a phone in the President’s bedroom and it’s ringing. Something is happening in the world.

John stirs. The phone continues to ring.


Uh, will you get the phone?

Camera pans to the other side of the bed where Sarah Palin is sleeping. Her hair is wrapped in toilet tissue to preserve its shape. She’s sleeping with her glasses on. Groggily, she picks up the phone.



Pause as she listens to the person on the other end of the line.


What?! The Russians are coming? THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! Wait…

Sarah jumps out of bed, still holding the phone, and runs to look out the window.


You’re right! I can see Russia from my window and the Russians ARE coming!


Your vote will decide who answers that call: whether it’s somebody who already knows the world’s leaders, knows the military, someone tested to lead in a dangerous world.

Sarah puts her hands on her hips and continues to look out the window. John snores in the background.


It’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. Who do you want answering the phone?

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I think when McCain answers the phone it should be an old black rotary number. So when Sarah says, “text somebody” he’s like, “huh??” (although I did hear today that he invented the Edsel, I mean, Blackberry).

Posted by: Howard on September 16, 2008 7:28 PM

So B. Hussein Obama knows the military better than McCain. Give me a break!!!

The thought of Barry answering that phone at 3 a.m. does more than send chills up my leg! It’s downright frightening! Will his teleprompter be on at 3 a.m.?

Posted by: Rob on September 16, 2008 9:21 PM

WOW! And what would Hillary have done? Run into combat with her NRA sticker attached to her bumper sticker? And to think the democrats wanted a female in office. Whats up with the change of heart?

Posted by: Sara on September 16, 2008 10:50 PM

Should Sarah Palin run all over the world bemoaning and complaining about her country the way Obama did? Is that good foreign policy? I love it, one trip around the world makes him a foreign policy expert….ROFL. If you want Barry to win in November I suggest cutting the personal insults down and actually talk about Obama’s accomplishments. People do not elect presidents based on insults and attacks alone, they also elect people based on their ACCOMPLISHMENTS. B. Hussien Obama has NO foreign policy experience whatsoever, NO executive experience whatsoever, and NO idea how bad he is going to be tossed out in November.

Posted by: Eric on September 17, 2008 1:36 PM

Errrh, I think the Democrats want a great leader in office — male or female, doesn’t matter does it? If we’re voting for a candidate on the basis of their gender, then we’re stupid.

I don’t care whether the person answering the phone in the middle of the night is male or female — as long as I trust them to do what’s best.

Posted by: Gwen on September 17, 2008 2:52 PM

Sara, I would hope the American people want the best person to be President, man or woman. I was surprised when the McCain camp felt they could woo women away from Obama by asking Palin to be his V.P. running mate. Women are smart enough to vote for the candidate that best represents their beliefs not their gender. Palin’s and Clinton’s positions are diametrically opposed to each other.

Rob and Eric, referring to Obama as “Hussein” is a cheap shot that panders to the fears of the American people. Debating the real issues of the economy, the wars, and affordable health care is much more important. And I look forward to the debates. In fact, I’m not interested in debating you on the liabilities of a McCain/Palin ticket at all. I will let well-respected writers (some of them even conservative!) speak to the subject: Anchorage Daily News conservative columnist, Daniel Fagen: “No one is above the truth, even Palin,” Washington Post writer, Ruth Marcus: “True Whoppers,” Carly Fiornia, McCain’s own top economic strategist is asked about Sarah Palin’s experience (to say nothing of the ridiculous assertion that Tina Fey, who played Palin on SNL, is a sexist), conservative columnist, Richard Cohen of the Washington Post: “The Ugly New McCain,” and finally, conservative Fox News calls out McCain spokesman, Tucker Bounds on McCain’s lies.

I could go on and on. I used to have some respect for McCain. But it’s now obvious he has put his career and winning the Presidency above the American people. It’s sad to watch. You, I, and our children deserve more.

Posted by: Jeff on September 17, 2008 6:58 PM

Jeff, and your post wasn’t a cheap shot at McCain and Palin?!

Calling someone by his legal, given name is not a cheap shot. It’s he who is hiding and declaring taboo all sorts of things about himself that the public has a right to know. Yet the Dems send over 30 lawyers to Alaska to dig up any kind of dirt they can on Sarah Palin, whose husband, by the way had a DUI over 20 years ago and whose daughter (we would never be guilty of mentioning in the news!) is experiencing the best known pregnancy in the universe!

Please list for us the accomplishments of the one who has basically done nothing in his extremely short time in the US Senate, other than vote “present.” He has to have the thinnest resume of any presidential candidate in the history of our nation. We know next to nothing about this empty suit, and we’re discouraged from knowing anything about him. The media has chosen to cover for him and hide anything that can be even a tiny bit negative.

I find that alarming! Those aren’t cheap shots - they’re statements of fact - facts that aren’t offered to pander to people’s fears, but facts that ought to make people at least a bit afraid enough to dig deeper - if they’re permitted to do so.

Posted by: Rob on September 18, 2008 8:47 AM

Rob, their comments were meant to focus on a fear that has been expressed throughout this campaign: Obama’s alleged ties to Islam. My rewrite of Hillary’s 3 a.m. ad was a parody which used Palin’s own remarks to comment on her and the ticket’s ludicrous assertion she has foreign affairs experience because Russia can be seen from Alaska. You may like Governor Palin. That’s fine with me. But believing this is the type of experience America needs to successfully function in this complicated international arena is dangerous.

As we’ve seen in the last couple days, that is merely a footnote in what is becoming a serious questioning of McCain’s abilities and motives. Believe what you will but I’m coming to the same conclusions Elizabeth Drew is. Ms. Drew was an admirer of John McCain and wrote a very favorable book about him called “Citizen McCain.”

Why, even the King of Spin himself, Karl Rove, is distancing himself from the McCain/Palin ticket. That says a lot.

Posted by: Jeff on September 18, 2008 6:16 PM

Comments are now closed for this post. But there are a few other entries which might provoke an opinion or two.

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