Jeff Likes to Tell Stories

Welcome to my blog. I haven’t kept up with it in a while. But I hope to get back to writing the types of stories you’ll find here. If my life was a sitcom, these might be considered scripts for the show. I write about my life, my interactions with my family and those strangers I encounter on a daily basis. My more serious writing can be found in various places. But I often post them on Medium.

Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 22.02.2004

Washington Post article from February 1997 featuring my friends David and Les (on the left) My best friend from high school, David, got married to Les last weekend. Finally. We were wondering if they'd ever make it legal. Those boys. After all, they've been together for 35 years. I suspected they might do "it." I watched for signs on the Evening News. I was checking the newspaper daily for their photo. Even though we now live 3000 miles apart that's how we'd reconnected after 28 years. One winter morning seven years ago I was attending to my usual workday pre-dawn ritual: oatmeal...

Worker's Comp / 14.02.2004

Found: one two three four five six seven eight iTunes/Pepsi bottlecaps out of 11 tries. In a vending machine in the basement of my office building. I won. I won! You really like me iTunes/Pepsi. As usual, I brought my lunch to a midday meeting I was running yesterday. We're setting up a "cutover" schedule for migrating to our brand new Web site redesign. I opened my special bottle of Diet Pepsi right there in between bites of my brie, apple, and pinenuts sandwich --one must always balance bureaucracy with high class sandwiches whenever possible. It makes project management so much...

Barely Socially Acceptable, Commuting with Nature / 07.02.2004

In this month's performance from the acclaimed Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable--monodialogue® cell phone performances from the Washington subway--showbiz lobbies for better government. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable, Act 3: What's up? I had a good time too. Hey thanks. Yeah, I've been working out. Twice a week at Homeland Security. Ah huh, the gym's in the basement. An old bunker. Abs and upper body. Tom Ridge? Never. Not just a stud, a nipple shield. At the gym? Yeah, I hear stuff. [A woman nearby abruptly shuts her Clive Cussler novel] They're putting Bush on a tape delay. Just in case. 5 seconds? No, 5 minutes. Not enough. What's he...

Barely Socially Acceptable, Commuting with Nature / 22.01.2004

Last month, after a particularly grueling day at work I founded The Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable. Each month I would perform underground cell phone conversation tableaus to the apathetic minions riding DC's subway system, the Metro. The response to our premiere performance was fantastic. No one suspected a thing and no one took notice. Today, my theatre troupe debuts the second in its series. Speeches this week by two diametrically opposed politicos (both in tone and in temperament) provide the muse for this month's production: Hi, yeah it's me. Let me --wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait. Nah, I don't think...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 18.01.2004

Today we entertained the Clutter Lady. At 10 am sharp, Lorraine, our clutter expert arrived at our door. Why did I assume someone whose job is keeping things tidy would also be on time?

We won Lorraine last spring, or rather her services, in a silent auction for our children's daycare. I hovered over the list until the auctioneer proclaimed our item closed. We needed her badly at Chez Gates and I was determined to win.

Both my wife and I were looking forward to this day. Each of us recognized our need for some order in our household. And each of us had our different theories as to how to accomplish this. We were hoping Lorraine could offer us some new tips, encouragement, and, if necessary, act as a mediator. When she called to arrange her visit I surreptitiously and quickly filled her in on the phone before my wife had a chance to pick up the receiver. "Ok, Lorraine, here's what I think and I'm sure you'll agree..." She had her work cut out for her.

Commuting with Nature / 24.12.2003

It was one of those spur-of-the-moment things. Just as we pulled into my subway stop this morning I decided I was going to wish everyone in my car a booming Merry Christmas. My impromptu holiday plan would take place just as I took my exit. I envisioned the good cheer and commuter camaraderie that we still-in-town workers would share. But could I summon enough chutzpah to pull this off? It wouldn't be the first time. I had no time to think twice. If I hesitated for a second I would falter. The train pulled to a stop and the chimes announced...

Barely Socially Acceptable, Commuting with Nature / 20.12.2003

After a particularly difficult and emotionally heart wrenching day at work (is there no other kind?) I was listening to my iPod's special "Get Over It" mix on the subway home, prepared especially for days like this. While undoing I looked around me and observed a man I often see on this train. He reached into his pocket for his cell, popped his earbud into his ear and began to talk. As always with these devices people look like they're speaking to themselves. They smile and react to someone unseen. It's not as if the unseen person is "there." The cell...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 01.12.2003

The big day had come. My wife and I had been discussing this for weeks. We'd tried it once before but quickly retrenched. But it was time: time once again to let the girls take the bus home from school all by themselves. Two years ago, on the first day of kindergarten, we proudly stood by our first child as we waited for the school bus to arrive for her pickup. It stopped right in front of our house. I took video as we bid a fond adieu. In the afternoon we took our places as we waited for the bus...

Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 10.11.2003

As sure as Indian Summer recedes, falling leaves ensue. That means it's time for the Gates' annual Falling Leaf Blowing Festival. Whereas last year's festivities were attended by millions (of leaves), this year's numbers are way down. The threat of terrorism nor the 80-degree weather wasn't to blame, although I did discover that raking is much more pleasant when dressed only in a Gap T (I'm trying to court product placement for next year's Festival). Up and down the block it is the talk of the neighborhood: Hurricane Isabel prematurely blew off a major portion of the audience for our fall...

Artistic Tendencies, Fairly Odd Parents-Past, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 02.11.2003

We're having Indian Summer in our nation's capital. Yesterday the temperature rose to 80 degrees (27 C). Today will be the same. It is a day when not riding your bike in padded Lycra® bicycle shorts should be a capital crime. I'm in a warm mood.

This is perfect timing. It coincides with one of my favorite days of the year, El Día de los Muertos, The Day of the Dead. While death is more of a taboo subject in this country, it's treated much differently in Mexico.

Right after graduate school I took my first job in East Los Angeles as part of the Barrio Mobile Art Studio. BMAS was part of a larger community arts program, Self-Help Graphics. Using a van, four artists went to schools and adult centers in the area where we conducted workshops in painting, sculpture, puppetry and photography. Using the inside of the vehicle as a darkroom I taught children and seniors photography. I was also the only Anglo in the program.

In a way, the community felt very comfortable to me. In the 30s and 40s East LA was a mixture of Jews, Latinos, and African Americans. My mother grew up there. And in the 60s I lived in Pacoima, in the East San Fernando Valley. Home to Ritchie Valens, Latino culture was prominent in Pacoima back then.