Jeff Likes to Tell Stories

With time on my hands I photographed the seashore from our condo's balcony throughout the day.

I was looking forward to our Vacation About Nothing: a week at the beach. When I meditate (I'm quite the novice), the vision I grab is one of me laying on a huge blanket next to the ocean water, the sound of the waves taking me to "my other place." My sister-in-law recently loaned me her white noise machine, which included a wave sound, but it just didn't cut it. There is nothing like the real thing. And I was so looking forward to it.

Spending a few days at the New Jersey shore has become a tradition in our family. For the past five years we've spent 4 days and 3 nights at the Bal Harbour Motel in Wildwood Crest, New Jersey. But this year we decided to try something a little different. After scouring the Web and Google Earth we rented a condo right across from our old hotel. Instead of a few days at the shore we'd have a week. We were filled with anticipation. Sight unseen (except for a satellite view) we arrived at our place, a half block from the beach with a full balcony view of the ocean. We were most pleased.

My girls had their own room. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law had their own room, as did my wife and me. The view was spectacular and the accommodations and amenities luxurious compared to our old digs across the street. I was ready for some serious R & R where I would immerse myself in another world, free of stress. Total relaxation in order to recharge your batteries for the rest of the year: isn't that what these beach trips are about?

Yes, in my dreams and deep meditative states. While the trip was indeed relaxing I can tell you with authority that it's hard, no impossible to completely eliminate the outside world. Nothing is perfect, not even that perfect beach trip.

But like the true Type A that I am, I've come home and created a balance sheet that outlines those things that could keep me up at night verses those that put me to sleep. Borrowing from Wired Magazine's monthly Wired/Tired/Expired comparison chart for the latest memes, I offer you my own (Just a Little) Wired/Tired (But Relaxed) list:

Prologue

What a fun time Urania, the Muse of Astrology has been having with me lately. I don't normally subscribe to the heavens' effect on humanity but when Mercury is in retrograde I take note.

As a rule, retrograde planets presage a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events, which relate to their sphere of influence. They present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no control...

This is a long tale. Sit down, relax, and be prepared to acknowledge the power of the stars.

The Look

I discovered Alan Cumming (right) was wearing "my look."

I'm a casual kind of guy. Polo shirts hanging out, a pair a jeans, and my sandals are my usual togs du jour. But lately for business reasons I've been toning up my dress: a pair of nice Italian slacks here, a bouclé sportscoat there. When I need to I want to dress for success. But my everyday clothes have remained the same casual style.

I've been pretty oblivious to nice casual. I have many pairs of jeans but only one pair of khakis. I tend towards the iconoclastic in most of my life but when it comes to clothes (particularly pants) I have been uninspired, that is until I saw The Look.

A couple of weeks ago I opened the style section of the Washington Post to an article on menswear designers. Appearing in the print edition (but not online) was a photograph of actor Alan Cumming wearing a pair of Converse All-Stars with a pair of light pants. That, I decided, was my look. Armed with my photo I went about the task of reinventing myself (let it be known, periods of retrograde are times to redo things: reread good books, revise articles you are writing, and, of course reinvent).