Fairly Odd Parents-Present Archives - Life Outtacontext
The personal website of artist and writer Jeff Gates
art, politics, graphic design, writer, storyteller, photo illustrator, "Washington, DC"
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Book Reports, Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 13.07.2022

I made myself a cocktail this morning. Not to worry, it was a quarter-inch of cold brew with a bit of milk. I sat by our front window in my favorite chair, slowly sipping, and read about Katy Tur’s latest memoir. Her father, Bob, was a mess. I drink Earl Grey in the morning with my oatmeal or Grape Nuts (I alternate every day), half a banana, and some walnuts. I got a good night’s sleep but still felt a little tired, so I changed my morning routine by adding the cocktail. It was a pleasant 15 minutes....

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 07.11.2021

We all have out rituals, both communal and individual. With our annual “changing of the clocks” each November, I partake in my autumnal “changing of the socks” formality. I’ve made my life easy. I wear mainly black socks. If I lose one, there are many others to take its place (as long as I continue to have only two feet). And I don’t have to go hunting for that “other” each morning. Cotton in the summer and Smartwool socks in the winter. Yesterday, I rotated my socks. My wool ones went into my sock drawer and my cotton went into a drawer...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 25.10.2021

It's been a while since I wrote a blog post: five years, in fact. Social media took over. But now that I've just redone my website, I thought I'd start posting periodic missives. A lot has happened since I last dropped a blog post. My daughters are now out of college, and I've retired from the Smithsonian. Oh yeah, the pandemic. COVID or no, I'd still be sitting in front of my computer working on posters and writing. Sometimes I find myself sitting here seven days a week. How'd I get it all done when I had a job? Should you...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 01.05.2016

Growing up, my family's grocery shopping was always a major event, something I was forced to endure on a weekly basis. Every Saturday morning my father would comb the newspaper ads for specials. Like the true engineer he was, he mapped his shopping trajectory based on which stores had what deals. We spent the better part of our Saturday going from one market to the next --often four or more. I pushed the cart while he consulted his list. This was not quality father-son time. With a childhood like that, my grocery shopping has morphed into something less time-consuming. And, my...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 08.11.2015

After the football game my wife and I took our older daughter out to dinner as we usually do on these Saturday evenings. A celebratory meal, certainly not for the prowess of our team, these after-game dinners reinforce the connections we have with our very independent children. With one in college and the other soon to be, we hardly ever see them. We are pre-empty nesters trying to get the hang of our new reality. This time, our younger daughter was entertaining friends at home. We decided on Ethiopian. After dinner, we headed back to the dorm. As we inched our...

Commuting with Nature, Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 21.10.2015

I forgot to take a picture of my foot stuck in the Metro escalator. So, like all good crime stories, I have recreated the scene. X marks the spot.[/caption] As I arrived at the surface from my subway commute, suddenly, a short, old woman, dressed in a mid February coat, crossed my path. "Pfeh," she said in her Slavic-sounding accent, "to you and your descendants!" I ignored her. But I had been cursed. And I hadn't even reached my cubicle yet. Strange things began to happen; sudden and unexplained mishaps started affecting every project I was working on...

Artistic Tendencies, Commuting with Nature, Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 15.09.2015

This morning, as I was walking towards the subway entrance I saw a young mother with her two daughters running to catch the No. 8 bus. It pulled away without them but as it came closer to me I motioned there were people running to catch that bus. I kept pointing over and over with an exaggerated movement between the family and the bus, hoping to catch the driver's attention. I've done this before but the driver didn't see me. Or, he just didn't care. This driver stopped. With a twist of my...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 03.07.2015

When it comes to our little plot of suburban heaven, we are outliers. We couldn't care less about having a perfect lawn. No monthly weed treatments and I do all the mowing. Some years, to make its upkeep a little less mundane, I do creative mowing. The best thing you can say about our grass is it's green. And, if you squint, it looks lush and, well, even greener. Every year we get a new and different lawn. And, by...