Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 18.08.2007

Landing in Las Vegas at night is a bit like landing at National Airport in DC: an incredible view of the city beckons you. McCarren International Airport is just south of The Strip. So our first look at the city lights came from our airplane's window. Despite our destination's proximity to the airport it would be two hours before we finally arrived at Treasure Island, our hotel. Baggage Claim, Rental Car, and finally the 24/7 traffic jam of Las Vegas Boulevard took precedence. After our ten hours of airplanes and airports we were hypnotized by the lights of the The Strip. And it wasn't until two days later as we drove north to our next stop in the Sierras that we realized there was a real and quite normal metropolis just beyond these lights.

Live Statue with offerings

"Statue" with offerings at the Venetian's version of St. Mark's Square (click for larger view)

Looking out our hotel window the next morning was like taking in a view of each "land" at Disneyland. You had your Italian Renaissance Land courtesy the Venetian across the street, Francoland as seen by the Paris' iconic Eiffel Tower replica, and Ancient Rome Land at Caesar's Palace. My nine year old daughter immediately announced "It's better than Disneyland!"

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 12.08.2007

A cryptic photo-op at the MGM in Las Vegas As a boy family vacations were always an exciting prospect: traveling on adventures to the great unknown in the comfort of our 1953 Pontiac. No seat belts and open windows, the early morning desert air blowing in my face (no air conditioning of course). The 1950s and early 1960s were indeed an era of post-War American expansionism and hegomony over my small world of the San Fernando Valley. It was a prosperous and exciting time for a ten year old. Of course, I didn't have to plan the trip, just totally immerse...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 20.07.2007

I've been outted. At our monthly all-staff meeting the other day, before attending to the business at hand, I was asked to stand. It was my birthday and I found myself the center of attention. Suddenly, in that way-too-bright spotlight someone asked how old I was.

Instinctively, I dodged the question with this quick retort: "Well, my children think I'm 45." The group laughed and finally, I fessed up: I was 58. I said it proudly as only a card-carrying AARP member should. A low-level gasp permeated the room, finished with a touch of polite applause. My years of workplace subterfuge had finally come to an end.

Every year I am faced with the same dilemma: I want to look forward to celebrating my birthday just so: perfect gifts and the perfect adoration from family and a few close friends, just like I did when I was seven. Remember when the month leading up to your special day was exciting? The night before you counted down the hours to your birthday party. Okay, I've matured just a bit and like to give a little back each year.

But as I inch ever closer to gizzerhood, this tick in time doesn't fit me as well as it used to. Like the zillions who have come before me I will reply when asked how it feels to be a year older: "I don't feel any different." And like my predecessors I will ask myself: "How did I get to be so old?" I fingered the gold watch they would give me on retirement.

Gifts from my coworkers trickled in throughout the rest of the day; people stopped me in the halls to wish me a Happy Birthday and some stopped by my cubicle to marvel at how well preserved I was. More than once I heard "I am shocked, totally shocked you are THAT OLD."

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control, Professional Auteurism / 07.07.2007

Life Outtacontext's iPhone Lust-O-Meter Bursts It was too much to bear. The pressure, as you know, has been building for a week. The outcome seemed inevitable. Yesterday, my neighbor, Mike, offered to "show me his." And, as we sat in his living room, festooned with techno-goodness, he let me take his iPhone for a spin (the irony of demo'ing that little thing as we sat in front of his large-screen LCD hi-def TV did not escape me). Jeff demo's his Lust-O-Meter to the Mac Genius. Photo by Mike Lee. When he offered to drive with me to our local Apple store, that was...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 06.07.2007

Workmen remove and replace fifty year old windows at Chez Gates. Click on each image for an enlargement. Our fifty year old house was in desperate need of new windows: all original. Nothing opened, picture windows were fogged, and evidence of mildew infestation loomed. By tonight we will have our brand new, energy-efficient and pristine replacements in place thanks to the work of these guys. And we will finally be able to see the neighborhood (and our neighbors). We think of it as Lasik for our house. Related Story: A Cubicle With a View (I may start to specialize in "window photography.")...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Mechanical Aversions, News Outta My Control / 05.07.2007

Life Outtacontext's Current Reading on its iPhone Lust-O-Meter. I have determined there is a direct correlation between iPhone Lust and physical proximity with the device. Handling an iPhone increases the desire to own one in direct proportion to the length of time it’s played with, I mean, used. In addition, watching a demonstration, even on TV, also increases one’s desire. Since yesterday was a holiday, and my direct contact with the iPhone and my TV viewing was nil, my lust level has declined over the last 24 hours. Today's Washington Post review of the phone here and here, while good in...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 04.07.2007

Life Outtacontext introduces the iPhone Lust-O-Meter. In the days leading up to the launch of Apple's iPhone we were inundated with stories upon news articles upon speculation about the "Device of the Century." Engadget, a tech blog, recognized the overabundance of speculation and offered its viewers an iPhone-free RSS feed (thank you, Engadget!). To be honest, I had put this gizmo out of my mind. I didn't have AT&T and wasn't interested in switching. Six hundred dollars for a phone? Are you kidding? I laughed at all the hoopla. I laughed as I saw all those people line up in front of...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 30.06.2007

Police document gunshot at Chez Gates (inset: point of impact) This morning we opened our living room window-shade to discover what looked to be a bullet hole in our window. Last night, my wife was sitting just inside that window (with shades drawn), watching TV, when she heard a big bang. Tree limbs often fall and hit our roof and that's what she thought it was. This morning the evidence proved otherwise. We called the police and two squad cars arrived within minutes. Upon inspection, the officer determined it was from a BB gun. Luckily, the projectile hadn't penetrated the glass. "A...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Professional Auteurism / 17.06.2007

The kids are not afraid to ask questions, but the adults feel an absolute need to provide answers... Rather than say, "I don't know; let's find out," parents feel like they have to make something up to seem smart. We really need to embrace not knowing it all.

Kathleen McLean, former Director, Exploratorium

Father Knows Best?, Washington Post

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I'm not afraid to say "I don't know" when my daughters ask the tough questions. Despite the typical timing of these important queries (like when my eldest asked "What's a virgin?" as I was merging onto a busy L.A. freeway), I go for the truth. After all, isn't "telling it like it is" one of the legacies we baby boomers have embraced?

My 10½ year old has just completed the fifth grade, and with it that special unit on human sexuality. But those aren't where the hard questions come from in our family. If only. Last month she came home and proudly showed me a Web page she and her friends had made on their own. Not only had she coded the page but she had embedded a Flash game into it as well. The floodgates had opened.

Surveying her work, I noticed some major problems in her code. In addition, she had hotlinked to someone else's Flash game. Hotlinking is a big no-no in the ethics of the Web and it was clear she had reached a critical stage in her development (you might remember I've had a couple interactions with people who have hotlinked to my images). It was time to step in to make sure she got a proper upbringing.

Kids today are learning PowerPoint in the fourth grade and are expected to use the Web to research their school projects by the fifth. Yes, folks-without-children, it's quite a different world. My eldest had been asking for her own Web site for a year. But I've hesitated, waiting for her to grow into the responsibilities that come with being a good netizen. She had just been rewarded for her maturity with her own email address (to correspond with approved friends only). But was I ready to move her into a higher geek realm? As usual my control over the situation was totally dictated by her meteoric quest for knowledge.

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 07.05.2007

If you've seen this bag, let me know. My wife will love it, especially if it will hold a few bottles of wine! As I sit by the subway door each morning on my commute to work I am rewarded with "first look rights" of people and their possessions as they enter the train. You never know what treasures you will find (objects or their owners). This morning I spied this wonderful Question Mark attaché the minute it came on board. "Wow," I thought, "that would be a perfect Mother's Day gift for my wife. Perfect. Just her style." I mean,...