Jeff Likes to Tell Stories

Welcome to my blog. I haven’t kept up with it in a while. But I hope to get back to writing the types of stories you’ll find here. If my life was a sitcom, these might be considered scripts for the show. I write about my life, my interactions with my family and those strangers I encounter on a daily basis. My more serious writing can be found in various places. But I often post them on Medium.

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 17.08.2008

The Gates/Krasnican clan has just returned from another triumphant family road trip --this time to the Pacific Northwest. I'll be collating our collective memories in the next few weeks and reporting on how things went. But for now let me wet your appetite with this digital morsel. Ever the photo raconteur and all-around Peeping Tom, I spied this couple who just couldn't wait for their private berth on the thirty-five minute ferry voyage from Seattle to Bainbridge Island. Get a room people! All ferries on the Puget Sound have been rated PG for years. Ok, I was daydreaming. There's not much...

Professional Auteurism / 18.07.2008

Gracias por haberme invitado aqui a hablar con ustedes hoy. Yo hablo poco Español, asi que continuo en Ingles. Vamos a empezar. I'm used to speaking in front of large groups of people. But even though I've been doing it since my days as a college prof, I always get just a little bit nervous. In fact, I go through the same regimen every time I ready myself to speak. Suddenly I hear myself saying: "I don't want to give this talk. I DO NOT want to give this talk!" I've heard myself repeat this pre-presentation mantra so often I now...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 13.07.2008

Globalization: The Tennessee Bar in Aranjuez, Spain Estoy en España, mis amigos. And so far, my detailed packing technique has yielded no forgotten essentials. My one suitcase weighed 21 kilos, just under the 50 pound limit and my supersized backpack was filled to the brim with computer and camera cables (and power bars) of every kind. The flight over was uneventful for the most part. I actually slept (the first time I've slept on a plane in steerage class). The young woman I was sitting next to kept coughing on me but was kind enough to assure me that...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Professional Auteurism / 06.07.2008

Boat house with concrete lighthouse for sale. A photo from my last trip to a Spanish-speaking land: Puerto Rico. Ok, true confession: I am a neurotic traveler. Well, to be more specific: I am a neurotic pre-traveler. With one week to go before heading off to Aranjuez, Spain to give my first international talk (El uso de los blogs dentro de los museos de corte tradicional/New World Blogging in a Traditional Museum Setting), I'd sleep much better if I was entirely packed and ready to go. I'm always afraid I'll forget something. A MacGyver I'm not. Spanish translated PowerPoint: check...

Fairly Odd Parents-Past / 22.06.2008

Unearthing High Quality Threads

3x5 card of my father's buying record

One of my father's early buying sprees: two sport coats for under $40, size 44L. Click image for a larger view.

Happy Father's Day! Wait, you didn't get the memo? I was out of town last weekend so here at Chez Gates we're celebrating Father's Day today. Last week I went "home" --back to Los Angeles for the opening of a photo show I'm in at the Huntington Library. And, as luck would have it, I had an unscheduled chance to reconnect with my father.

My sojourns back to L.A. are always frenetic and filled with mixed emotions. Too much family history. Arranging meetups with relatives and friends while driving the severely clogged freeways is exhausting. As always I'd pay a visit to my parents' graves (sadly, my family reunions are slowly moving from my relatives' homes to Mt. Sinai Memorial Park). But this time I had one day all to myself so I scheduled in some culture. Starting with a small show of George Hurrell photographs at the California Heritage Museum in Santa Monica, I then made a beeline down Wilshire Boulevard to the L.A. County Museum of Art to see their new Broad Contemporary Art Museum. The eight and a half miles from start to finish took an hour. There is no "immediately there" there in LA these days. But it didn't matter. I had no appointments to keep or so I thought.

As I drove through Beverly Hills I passed South Beverly Drive and without warning I thought of my father. South Beverly Drive: my father used to buy his suits at a men's shop on this street. What was its name? Malibu Clothes, that was it. As a youngster my father dragged me with him on his periodic trips to buy his suits (you can imagine how exciting it was to tag along with dad to a stuffy store to buy clothes). He bought me my first sport coat at Malibu for my cousin's bar mitzvah in the late 50s. But what was so intriguing back then was the gatekeeper at the store's entrance. They sold wholesale decades before outlets and you had to be referred in order to get in. There was always an old man sitting at a counter waiting to get your name. It was my first brush with exclusivity. To a seven year old it was like a secret club.

Now I was trying to unearth this flashback. I continued on my drive towards the museum but the memory gnawed at me. And when I noticed a free curbside-parking slot I pulled over to google the store. Could it still be there? If something lasts twenty years in L.A. it's ancient. Yes! According the Web page Malibu Clothes had been in existence for 65 years! I called to make sure this was it. "Is this the store where you have to be referred in order to get in?" I asked. "Yes" came the answer. "My father used to buy me suits there. Do you think you'd still have our names on file?" "Oh, we keep all records," came the reply. I turned around.

When I entered the second floor store my vision of the place returned with total clarity. This was definitely it. There was the small counter where you gave your name and as I looked up I had confidence they would be able to find records of our familial visits. Before me stood the largest rotating card file cabinet I'd ever seen. Thousands upon thousands of 3x5 cards with clients' names were filed away. I told them who I was but they couldn't find any record. Perhaps it was under my father's name. Suddenly I remembered the last time I was in there.

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 31.05.2008

Him: Are those flowers real? Me: When's the last time you brought flowers to your wife? Him: I'm not married. Him 2: Did he say those flowers were real? Her: They're real. I can smell 'em. Subway Conversation, Thursday Afternoon When it all began. I'd been lamenting over what to get my wife for our 15th anniversary. Fifteen is crystal. But we're not crystal types. Being the good gift giver that I am the bar is always set high. And, as good gift givers know, it's not the money; it's the thought that goes with it that really counts. Now, I could go crystal but it would...

Artistic Tendencies / 11.05.2008

Reminiscent of another photograph. Click photo for larger image. Recently, a friend from out of town came to visit. She wanted to go to Arlington Cemetery to visit her father's grave and she invited us to go with her. As I stood looking over the rows and rows of tombstones by her father's grave I turned around and saw a familiar sight. Looking around I discovered it isn't only wives who can be buried next to their military husbands, but husbands of military wives, daughters, sons, grandchildren and even stepchildren. [ Photography, Arlington Cemetery ] ...

Medicinal Properties / 03.05.2008

My Root Canal on Twitter It's all Melanie's fault. In March I received an email from her extolling the virtues of twitter, that micro-blogging, naval-gazing, Web 2.0 service. I knew about twitter but was totally uninterested in subscribing to a service that would allow me (force me!) to post short little "tweets" about what I was doing at the moment. More importantly, why on earth would I want to follow others doing the same? But she persevered. In her email she said: "You're receiving this because you're among those open minded smart people I know who gets that things have changed...

Artistic Tendencies / 21.04.2008

A series of "still" images from Godfrey Reggio's Koyaanisqatsi (Quicktime, 26 MB). Click to play. Earlier this month flickr announced that short video clips could now be uploaded to the popular photo site. Some photo purists were skeptical, even spawning a huge "No Video on Flickr" group. After all, the sanctity of the best still images, rich in implied meaning, could be diluted by zillions 90 second video clips of someone's keg party (and we already have other sites, like YouTube for that). Flickr said the ninety-second limit was to encourage "long photos." There are contemporary videographers and filmmakers who have...

Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 19.04.2008

Let My People Go (or you'll get the biggest headache)! When we were invited to a Passover Sedar this year my children needed to be reminded what it was all about (we don't get invited to a sedar too often). My wife, trying to make it enticing wanted to tell them about the search for the afikomen, the traditional game of hiding of the matzah (ostensibly to keep the children engaged during the pre-dinner service). But in doing so my loving shiksa wife declared: "Girls you'll get to hunt for the ibuprofen!" Yes, as a child I remember when I thought...