Jeff Likes to Tell Stories

Welcome to my blog. I haven’t kept up with it in a while. But I hope to get back to writing the types of stories you’ll find here. If my life was a sitcom, these might be considered scripts for the show. I write about my life, my interactions with my family and those strangers I encounter on a daily basis. My more serious writing can be found in various places. But I often post them on Medium.

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 05.02.2006

Five Years of Sticking it to the Man. Click on the image above to watch a self-tribute to my years in the blogosphere. (Quicktime 4.5 MB). And don't forget to take a look at the inspiration for this little parody. This week marks the fifth anniversary of Life Outtacontext. On February 9, 2001 I wrote my first piece, I am COTR, a reflection on the power of being a Contract Officer’s Technical Representative. Translated from government-speak, I was learning how to advise lawyers on the technical aspects of writing contracts for new media projects. Not the most auspicious of subjects...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 28.01.2006

I try to keep my sitters moving and talking, to make them forget they are being painted. This has nothing to do with extracting intimate secrets or confessions, but rather with establishing, in motion, an essential image of the kind that remains in memory or recurs in dreams. I could not do this if my sitter had to keep still... A person is not a still-life – not even a dead person.

Oskar Kokoschka

What to wear. In the pitch black of the early morning I lay here thinking, "What should I wear today?"

On weekdays my first conscious thoughts are usually about my dress. I sit up in bed, push my feet over the edge and sit there contemplating my wardrobe. It's not that I am a fashionista. My office uniform is, well, fairly uniform: shirt, optional sweater or sweater vest, and jeans. I just like to get this part of my decision-making day over with quickly.

But today's Saturday. I should be I lounging in that dawn between dreamful triumphs and early morning routines, not ruminating about my outfit. Slowly I focus. That's it. I'm having my portrait painted today.

News Outta My Control / 21.01.2006

Yesterday, Baltimore Circuit Court Judge M. Brooke Murdock struck down our Maryland law which bans same-sex marriage. She called the 1973 statute discriminatory and one that "cannot withstand constitutional challenge." But she immediately stayed her ruling pending the inevitable challenge. Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. (R) expressed dismay with the court at an afternoon news conference. He hinted that he would get behind a drive to amend the constitution, saying he would 'take the appropriate steps to protect marriage.' 'Obviously, I'm disappointed,' Ehrlich said. 'Again, Maryland is in the national limelight, and it's not positive.' The Washington Post Oh, I don't know about that...

Artistic Tendencies, Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 01.01.2006

My family and I usually spend New Year's Eve quietly together. No loud parties and no dodging the inebriated on the roads. We are not on everybody's party list. In fact, I don't think we're on anybody's party list --it's been years since we were invited to a New Year's Eve celebration.

So last night we decided to buck tradition, but buck it in our own special way. We still opted for a quiet night at home. But this year we invited our friends Liz and Doug, along with their daughter to join us for that sip of Zin to ring in the new year (fruit punch for the kids of course).

Early yesterday I made a beeline for Trader Joe's, our favorite self-serve party caterer. Our Trader Joe parties are legendary. We sit around the coffee table with hors d'oeuvres of Trader Joe's brie, Trader Joe's artichoke dip, plastered on Trader Joe's assorted crackers with a bit of guacamole (you guessed it, also from TJs). It's the modern family's recipe for a successful party: easy to put together, inexpensive, and it tastes great. With a little vino, we were all set.

At first we thought we'd make tacos for dinner. Fun for the kids and everyone could fill their tortillas with whatever they wanted (a good dish for our mix of light meat eaters and vegetarians). But then Susie had an even better idea. After filling up with pre-dinner snacks, was a big meal really necessary? Instead let's make use of our new cookbook: Salad People And More Real Recipes: A New Cookbook for Preschoolers & Up. Let's make salad people for dinner!

So we lined up all the ingredients (a little lettuce, pears, raisins, melon, cheese, olives, cashews, tomatoes, carrots, and some curly pasta) and let loose. Here are the results of our New Year's Eve repast:

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 31.12.2005

New Year's Eve: a time to reflect on what was and look ahead to new possibilities. Well, I've never been one to follow tradition. Why, I've already started my annual January clean and tidy around Chez Gates and it's still December! Yet writing allows you to document these transitory points in time. Without them I would remain consumed with the moment-at-hand: working on my most pressing deadline or putting out sibling rivalry fires at home. And so today I took a few moments to reread my entire year's posts from Life Outtacontext. 2005 started with a trip downtown to a swearing...

Barely Socially Acceptable, Commuting with Nature / 18.12.2005

Amber, this is Glenn I'm in the Metro on my way in I need an email to go out now! . An early morning snow had forced the federal government to open two hours late. The respite from AM bureaucracy did not prevent countless worker bees from their appointed tasks. Conference calls from home circumvented any disconnect Mother Nature could hand out. Workflow could not and would not be stopped by a mere three inch layer of slush. Subject line: "Update from Glenn" No, make that "Good news from Glenn" Yes, good news. I slowly reached for my notebook and pen while we waited for the next train....

Worker's Comp / 16.12.2005

Eye Level: Yahoo! says we're "100% snooty-free!" Access to Eye Level, our new blog at American Art was a bit dicey today. Typepad's servers were having a bit of trouble so our site (and every other Typepad hosted site around the world) appeared to the public as it had two days ago when they last backed up their servers. But that didn't stop Yahoo! from naming Eye Level as it's Web site of the Day! "Finally, an art blog for the rest of us! The bright minds behind the Smithsonian American Art Museum contribute to this lively discussion of American art...

Worker's Comp / 28.11.2005

The Smithsonian American Art Museum's Blog: Eye Level Today marks the debut of a project I (and many others) have been working on for about six months: Eye Level, the blog of the Smithsonian American Art Museum (and the Smithsonian's first blog!). I designed the blog and managed the project. When the Smithsonian American Art Museum reopens its renovated historic main building in July 2006, it will be a showcase for American art that celebrates this nation's vision and creativity. Eye Level is part of the museum's continuing effort to explore the stories central to the American experience and to search for...

News Outta My Control, Worker's Comp / 24.11.2005

My "one-on-one" in-depth visit with Tai Shan Tai Shan, the Smithsonian's newest Panda will debut at the National Zoo December 8. Well, technically he's China's newest panda since, by agreement, he will be given to the Chinese when he is two. Free tickets were offered to the public this past week on a first-come basis via the National Zoo's Web site. And already those freebies are going for big bucks on eBay. Now that's the entrepreneurial spirit. However, as one of the perks of working at this venerable cultural institution, Smithsonian worker bees got the chance for a sneak peek...

Barely Socially Acceptable / 20.11.2005

Hi Nick. This is your lawyer. Your lawyer, Bob. Yes, that's right. Your lawyer. Washington is a town of lawyers. They're everywhere and into everything. Their influence is clearly visible throughout the DC area. Button-down blue Oxford dress shirts are our version of high fashion. Their power lunches and show-stopping courtroom antics are de rigueur. And a lawyer's cell phone is indeed his best friend, at least when it comes to billable hours. So why was I surprised yesterday when I walked into my doctor's waiting room to hear someone talking loudly into his phone? As I waited to see my doctor I was...