News Outta My Control / 29.08.2004

The Great Backlash began with the coming together of two very different political factions: traditional business Republicans...with their faith in the free market; and working-class "Middle Americans"...who signed on to preserve family values.

For the former group, the conservative revival that resulted has been fantastically rewarding...After all, they are wealthier as a class today than ever before in their lifetimes. But for the latter group, the aggrieved "Middle Americans," the experience has been a bummer all around. All they have to show for their Republican loyalty are lower wages, more dangerous jobs, dirtier air, a new overlord class that comports itself like King Farouk--and, of course, a crap culture whose moral free fall continues...

Thomas Frank
What's the Matter With Kansas? How Conservatives Won the Heart of America


Lisa Sells Class on QVC

Lisa Sells Class on QVC
(Quicktime Movie, 13.2 MB)

After a hard day at the office I often enter the house, grab a beer if I'm in a "red state" of mind or a glass of Chardonnay if I'm feeling "blue" and sit down to hours of entertainment watching QVC. Yes, this home shopping network is the best way to decompress after hours of project management and endless meetings. I never buy anything, but my family questions my sanity nonetheless. I watch with amazement.

How do they sell those things to all those people? Diamonique to NASCAR replicas. I love the way those perky "SJ's" (selling jockeys) make everything from scrapbook-making kits to 18K gold sound so, so delicious. They talk as if they are describing sumptuous treats from a high-class menu. Where do they find the words? How do they talk like this non-stop? My mouth waters. Everything sounds so good --extra authentic.

To buy is to be. And the buying public calls in to express their satisfaction and to profess their love.

Simultaneously, I am amazed by how many people express their adoration for George W. Bush and the Republican Party. They are selling us something too. Many of my friends are shocked to know that somewhere close to half the population is susceptible to their selling pitches. How could this be? The facts to the contrary seem so clear.

I've been ruminating about this attraction. And I am finding a striking correlation between home shopping and the political landscape (both Republican and Democrat).

Idiosyncratic Celebrations, News Outta My Control / 05.07.2004

Here in Washington there are numerous local parades on July 4th --very local parades, like through the streets of housing developments. These take place all over the region, and, as I suspected, they are staggered so politicians can go from one to the other over the course of the day. Boy Scouts lead Pledge of Allegianceat local 4th of July parade. We always go to the parade in our friends' neighborhood. For some reason we don't have one in our own (perhaps we don't live in a key precinct). It's a tiny affair lead by a local troop of the Boy...

Idiosyncratic Celebrations, News Outta My Control / 04.07.2004

Everyone's talking the finer points of Fahrenheit 9/11. The Lies. The Truth. You conservative bastard. Now listen here you commie liberal. Michael Moore's a documentarian. No, his film is editorializing at its worst! Calm down, folks. It's only a movie. It's only a war. And it's only our country.

WM ISO LIBERAL-MINDED CROWD FOR GROUP HUG AND RECLAMATION OF OUR THE COUNTRY. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY.

Last Sunday Susie and I made our way to the American Film Institute Theater in Silver Spring to see for ourselves. No matter where you live on the political sphere, the film is provocative. But I'm not here to speak about that. I'm here to talk about the crowd.

Fairly Odd Parents-Past, News Outta My Control / 29.05.2004

Sailors: vintage and contemporary at the World War II Memorial, Washington, DC Ten years ago, during my father's final visit to DC, we were walking towards the Treasury Building to see how money is made. As we passed the Holocaust Museum, without warning, he said to me: "You know Jeffrey, I don't think I ever told you this but I was one of the first to liberate Dachau. No, he hadn't. And he never mentioned it again. He was not one to elaborate. In my earlier years I admonished him for his silence. For a moment I was shocked by his words....

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 23.05.2004

The Mrs. and I were invited to the Veep's house this past week to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Art in Embassies program. That's Dick and Lynn Cheney's temporary abode.

Adam & Eve by Susie Krasnican

The real Ambassador in Moscow: Adam & Eve, ©1989, Susie Krasnican, glass

Forget exporting troops to distant foreign outposts. Art is our best missile defense system. And artists are our most accomplished and eloquent ambassadors. Susie has a piece in the Ambassador's residence in Moscow.

I am a humble Web hack and artist-raconteur. Where in the world can politico sightseeing and hobnobbing be so imbued with power? Especially in these times. It was not my first encounter with the Republican powers-that-be. And I wondered what type of opportunity I might have to affect public policy. On the other hand, I also considered the weather this time a year in Guantanamo.

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 29.02.2004

"What brings you here today, Mr. Gates?" Dr. Warner thumbed through my chart without looking up. "I think I'm growing taller," I said. "That's impossible, Jeff. You're 54 years old."

Jeans that make Americans taller

It appears that Levi's®, one of the oldest maker of jeans, has quietly resized its pant legs. Whatever your previous and long standing inseam measurement, the bottom of your pants now rests comfortably at your ankle. The White House and the Office of Homeland Security refused to comment on the rumor they asked the jean maker to alter its sizes to make Americans appear taller than they really are. But sources close to the White House assured us this is not part of their election year strategy or their quest for global domination.

I have been wearing Levi's for decades. And while my waistline has fluctuated over the years my inseam has remained steady at 30 inches, top of my shoe to my crotch. While I am an average 5\'9\" I'm fairly long-waisted (and short-legged).

But all of a sudden my longstanding length is too short. At first I thought my jeans must have shrunk over the multitude of washings and dryings. Or maybe my posture improvement regimen had altered my height. I was standing straighter and taller than I had in years (worldwide domination aside). So a few weeks ago I bought a new pair. Same size. And while they seemed to be just right standing in front of the store's full length mirror, I was becoming suspicious.

News Outta My Control / 12.10.2003

Please settle a bet (the loser has to cook dinner). My wife says Arnold Schwarzenegger is only 5 feet 8. I say he's taller. Who is right? P.C. Kearns, Utah Parade Magazine It's the beginning of a new era in California politics so let's get this straight right from the start. Arnold is short. I once stood right next to him and Maria at the Pace Gallery in New York. Schwarzenegger is far from the 6\'1\" his official bio states. The Terminator terminates at 5\'7\" at best. Oh, and one other thing: "Arnold" is an anagram of "Ronald." My DC politico sightings continue. Last...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 06.10.2003

The glint from his flesh-colored earpiece and its thick spiral cord first caught my eye. Otherwise his dark brown suit would have kept him hidden amongst the other dark suits walking down Pennsylvania Avenue. He was broadcasting HIGH LEVEL GOVERNMENT PERSONAGE up and down the street. My DNA-enhanced WiFi picked up his Secret Service signal loud and clear and instinctively I began to look around. Standing so close I could touch him was John Ashcroft. He too wore a government-issued uniform tailored to his stature: a gray pinstripe with a crisp white oxford shirt and blood red telegenic tie. His camouflage was...