Chapter One: An Interaction With a Teenager Earlier this morning I dropped my younger daughter off at school to take the ACT test. As we got into the car she immediately turned the radio to her favorite station. Mumford & Sons' Believe was playing. Now, trying to connect with my 17 year old is always an iffy thing. Will I get merely grunts and groans to anything I say or a brisk reaction meant to shut down any conversation? I never know. The terrain is a minefield. Yet, I choose to traverse it every day in hopes I will have some...
Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 21.06.2015
My Father’s Day Gift
A gift is not a thing. It's a thought. And sometimes I wear these thoughts around my neck as a talisman, bringing me good fortune and as a reflection of my hard work. ...
Fairly Odd Parents-Past, Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 25.05.2015
I’m Movin Out!
As my wife and I drove the nine miles from our house to my daughter's dorm I said, "I hope that rug is gone. It's not even ours." I was in my organizing mode: how to pack up my daughter's things as efficiently as possible and get them home in our car, including a small refrigerator. The rug belonged to my daughter's roommate. She had moved out the night before and had offered the well-used industrial gray carpet to my daughter as a parting gift. Right. I know that ploy: pawn off...
Artistic Tendencies, Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 09.04.2015
Unusually Obstinate
For some strange reason I put my watch on upside down this morning. Time appeared backward the whole day. And each time I looked at my watch, just for a second, I was thrown off kilter, as if I had tripped and was trying to right myself. It seemed like time was mocking me and I wondered if anyone noticed. I kept asking myself, "Why don't you just take off the stupid watch and put it on the right way?" But, I never had the time. This really wasn't getting me anywhere. Telling time didn't come easy to me today. Tripping over...
I lost my glasses. No, they weren't on my forehead. And, yes, I checked all the usual places multiple times. In fact, I knew exactly where I'd lost them. With a dust filter covering my mouth, my glasses kept steaming up as I raced to get our fallen foliage to the curb before the county vacuumed them up. I could hear their trucks coming but I couldn't see a thing so I put them in my pocket. And, without warning, my tortoise shell glasses were now...
Barely Socially Acceptable, Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Professional Auteurism / 21.08.2014
I Talk to Strangers in Elevators
I talk to strangers in elevators. But not just to any stranger. I pick and choose, depending on the elevator, the mix of people, and, of course, if I have anything to say. Our time together is short and there must be some connection to our shared experience riding up or down. Not quite an elevator pitch, but a close relative. Timing is everything. It might be Monday morning. No eager beavers on Monday morning. "Thank God it's Friday," I might say. I'm often the warm up act for the week. And, if I'm lucky, I'll get a chuckle. Out of...
Two seemingly unrelated events: [caption id="attachment_3967" align="alignright" width="350"] Esquire backs me up on this one and even provides a simple way to remember which button to button.[/caption] A funny thing happened in the elevator at work the other day. I had just gotten my coffee from the Starbucks across the street and was taking the lift up to my office. I shared the elevator with another guy and we were getting off on the same floor. Suddenly, he asked "Jeff, you seem the right person to ask. Is it one button or two?" as he demonstrated on his sport coat. I hesitated for...
Fairly Odd Parents-Past, Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 19.01.2014
A Homecoming Back to Me
I'm not a sports junky. In fact, I'm worse. I'm a fair-weather sports fan filed under the subcategory "College Sports/Only Schools I Went To." And that means just football and basketball. So, I follow two schools, both my alma maters: Michigan State, where I got my undergraduate degree and UCLA where I got my MFA. Oh, and as a fallback, I will sometimes follow the University of Maryland just because I live in Maryland...
Photographically, this was a wonderful year for me. I found myself in all sorts of interesting places and situations. And the best souvenir of an experience is either a story or a photograph. The best is when I get both. Yesterday, I began to contemplate the end of 2013. And I started to grimace at all the end-of-year lists of which we were about to be inundated. Suddenly, I thought the best way to combat the nostalgia those lists always bring out in me would be to put together one of my own. So here are my top ten photographs from...
Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 27.10.2013
What Becomes a Legend Most? Wait, Let Me Tweet That.
What becomes a legend most? I have no idea. I'm not the legend type. But, earlier this week I received my first fan letter. I have had a few brushes with fame—by now, perhaps an hour's worth. But, as always these strange encounters come in fits and spurts and without fanfare I quickly recede back with the rest of humanity. [caption id="attachment_4004" align="alignright" width="350"] My Swiss Media Debut: Il Caffè (Click image for larger picture and, if you can read Italian, see how this government shutdown played in Europe.)[/caption] Recently, as many of you know, I became the de facto poster boy...