Prologue

What a fun time Urania, the Muse of Astrology has been having with me lately. I don't normally subscribe to the heavens' effect on humanity but when Mercury is in retrograde I take note.

As a rule, retrograde planets presage a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events, which relate to their sphere of influence. They present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no control...

This is a long tale. Sit down, relax, and be prepared to acknowledge the power of the stars.

The Look

I discovered Alan Cumming (right) was wearing "my look."

I'm a casual kind of guy. Polo shirts hanging out, a pair a jeans, and my sandals are my usual togs du jour. But lately for business reasons I've been toning up my dress: a pair of nice Italian slacks here, a bouclé sportscoat there. When I need to I want to dress for success. But my everyday clothes have remained the same casual style.

I've been pretty oblivious to nice casual. I have many pairs of jeans but only one pair of khakis. I tend towards the iconoclastic in most of my life but when it comes to clothes (particularly pants) I have been uninspired, that is until I saw The Look.

A couple of weeks ago I opened the style section of the Washington Post to an article on menswear designers. Appearing in the print edition (but not online) was a photograph of actor Alan Cumming wearing a pair of Converse All-Stars with a pair of light pants. That, I decided, was my look. Armed with my photo I went about the task of reinventing myself (let it be known, periods of retrograde are times to redo things: reread good books, revise articles you are writing, and, of course reinvent).

You've been a good phone. But it was time for an upgrade.

We have a whiteboard in our kitchen with lists of To-Do's for both my wife and me. As we complete a task we ceremoniously erase the entry and give each other a high five for a job well done. It doesn't happen often so we make a point of celebrating. The items that make these lists are the ones that never seem to get done: hence the introduction of the whiteboard to elevate their status and to keep us from forgetting.

High on my list: call Sprint to renegotiate our cell phone contract. It's not a pleasant chore but one I am good at. I've devised a list of strategies for getting the most from my cell company and I rely on them when my contract is ready to be renewed.

1. When you want anything of importance from your cell phone company call their rentention department. The cell phone industry is highly competitive and margins are tight. They want to keep your business.

You might remember my major discovery back at the turn of the century: when you want anything of importance from your cell phone company, call Retention. They have all the power. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT waste your time talking with anyone else. They do not have the ultra secret codes to get you what you want.

It was definitely time to renegotiate. Our calling plans were from the Mobile Phone Jurassic period. We had two separate accounts with more minutes than we could ever use (let it be known we do not live with our phones permanently affixed to our ears). We were paying way too much and our phones were old. Coworkers and friends would often stifle their surprise to see my quant little black and white screen. "What?! You can't download In-A-Gadda-De-Vida as a ringtone??"

I've had this task on the whiteboard for six months. But I was waiting for THE phone to come out. I didn't know what that phone was but I scoured the gadget Web sites weekly to find it. I thought about a Treo. But, quite honestly, I had no desire to be connected 24/7. I wanted a phone that got good reviews for quality and battery life, something that was small, and something that might make my transition into the future more graceful.

When we were in Puerto Rico, my old phone worked for one call and then went on an eternal search for a connection. Nada para el resto del viaje. Nothing for the rest of the trip.

It was time.

The reward at the end of the day: the view from our hotel (and not a slice of beef jerky in sight).

Note to myself: Next time we decide to take a family vacation on the first day of Spring Break, arrive at the airport the day before. Last Sunday my family and I flew to Puerto Rico. My eldest daughter's class was going on a "field trip" to La Parguera and the Bioluminescent Bay in the southwest corner of the island to study with an oceanographer (we never took field trips like this when I was in the 4th grade). And the rest of the family was going along for the ride.

As always I was the consummate air traveler (if not a bit naive --ok, clueless). I was able to get the four of us out of the house at 5:45 am to arrive at the airport with the requisite two hour window before our 8:30 am flight. We usually avoid travel during holidays so we were dumbfounded when we took the escalator up to the checkout level only to join about 10,000 like-minded travelers (I kid you not). It was wall-to-wall people inching and snaking their way to check in their baggage.

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