Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 01.08.2007

My iPhone and me at Yosemite's Half Dome. What would Samuel Morse have thought? "What hath God wrought?" John Muir would probably have agreed. My email message documenting this event: "We are blissful at this altitude." Just returned from a little road trip with the family (more on that later). Starting in Las Vegas we drove through Yosemite, then on to the Garlic Festival in Gilroy and finally to San Fran for a wedding. Of course, this was the maiden voyage for my iPhone and I was eager to see just where I could use it. The highlight of the trip...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Idiosyncratic Celebrations / 20.07.2007

I've been outted. At our monthly all-staff meeting the other day, before attending to the business at hand, I was asked to stand. It was my birthday and I found myself the center of attention. Suddenly, in that way-too-bright spotlight someone asked how old I was.

Instinctively, I dodged the question with this quick retort: "Well, my children think I'm 45." The group laughed and finally, I fessed up: I was 58. I said it proudly as only a card-carrying AARP member should. A low-level gasp permeated the room, finished with a touch of polite applause. My years of workplace subterfuge had finally come to an end.

Every year I am faced with the same dilemma: I want to look forward to celebrating my birthday just so: perfect gifts and the perfect adoration from family and a few close friends, just like I did when I was seven. Remember when the month leading up to your special day was exciting? The night before you counted down the hours to your birthday party. Okay, I've matured just a bit and like to give a little back each year.

But as I inch ever closer to gizzerhood, this tick in time doesn't fit me as well as it used to. Like the zillions who have come before me I will reply when asked how it feels to be a year older: "I don't feel any different." And like my predecessors I will ask myself: "How did I get to be so old?" I fingered the gold watch they would give me on retirement.

Gifts from my coworkers trickled in throughout the rest of the day; people stopped me in the halls to wish me a Happy Birthday and some stopped by my cubicle to marvel at how well preserved I was. More than once I heard "I am shocked, totally shocked you are THAT OLD."

Barely Socially Acceptable / 14.07.2007

As she boarded the Orange Line train for the burbs she sat down and immediately opened her David's Bridal catalogue. Ever on the lookout for my next episode of The Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable, I surreptitiously observed her behind my iPod-induced playlist (always good camouflage). She quietly thumbed through the pages and I returned to India.Arie's I Am Not My Hair. Suddenly, above the beat: Hi, it's me. I'm looking at the bridal catalogue. Do you have it in front of you? Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it? Men. Well, ok. Now are you still set on brown...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control, Professional Auteurism / 07.07.2007

Life Outtacontext's iPhone Lust-O-Meter Bursts It was too much to bear. The pressure, as you know, has been building for a week. The outcome seemed inevitable. Yesterday, my neighbor, Mike, offered to "show me his." And, as we sat in his living room, festooned with techno-goodness, he let me take his iPhone for a spin (the irony of demo'ing that little thing as we sat in front of his large-screen LCD hi-def TV did not escape me). Jeff demo's his Lust-O-Meter to the Mac Genius. Photo by Mike Lee. When he offered to drive with me to our local Apple store, that was...

Artistic Tendencies / 07.07.2007

With DoubleTake I was able to stitch two photos into one. Click on the image to see a larger version. Yesterday, I posted four photos I took as workmen installed new windows throughout our home. Interesting pics, but I wanted to play with them a bit more. I thought it might be interesting to combine the two individual images of the guys removing glass into one panorama. I could have probably done this with a bit of Photoshop magic (a transparent gradient along the seams of the two images for you digital photogs). But I wanted to try out an image stitching...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 06.07.2007

Workmen remove and replace fifty year old windows at Chez Gates. Click on each image for an enlargement. Our fifty year old house was in desperate need of new windows: all original. Nothing opened, picture windows were fogged, and evidence of mildew infestation loomed. By tonight we will have our brand new, energy-efficient and pristine replacements in place thanks to the work of these guys. And we will finally be able to see the neighborhood (and our neighbors). We think of it as Lasik for our house. Related Story: A Cubicle With a View (I may start to specialize in "window photography.")...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, Mechanical Aversions, News Outta My Control / 05.07.2007

Life Outtacontext's Current Reading on its iPhone Lust-O-Meter. I have determined there is a direct correlation between iPhone Lust and physical proximity with the device. Handling an iPhone increases the desire to own one in direct proportion to the length of time it’s played with, I mean, used. In addition, watching a demonstration, even on TV, also increases one’s desire. Since yesterday was a holiday, and my direct contact with the iPhone and my TV viewing was nil, my lust level has declined over the last 24 hours. Today's Washington Post review of the phone here and here, while good in...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present, News Outta My Control / 04.07.2007

Life Outtacontext introduces the iPhone Lust-O-Meter. In the days leading up to the launch of Apple's iPhone we were inundated with stories upon news articles upon speculation about the "Device of the Century." Engadget, a tech blog, recognized the overabundance of speculation and offered its viewers an iPhone-free RSS feed (thank you, Engadget!). To be honest, I had put this gizmo out of my mind. I didn't have AT&T and wasn't interested in switching. Six hundred dollars for a phone? Are you kidding? I laughed at all the hoopla. I laughed as I saw all those people line up in front of...

Fairly Odd Parents-Present / 30.06.2007

Police document gunshot at Chez Gates (inset: point of impact) This morning we opened our living room window-shade to discover what looked to be a bullet hole in our window. Last night, my wife was sitting just inside that window (with shades drawn), watching TV, when she heard a big bang. Tree limbs often fall and hit our roof and that's what she thought it was. This morning the evidence proved otherwise. We called the police and two squad cars arrived within minutes. Upon inspection, the officer determined it was from a BB gun. Luckily, the projectile hadn't penetrated the glass. "A...