14 Jul The Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable, Act 10

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn’t it a pity
Doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city

Summer in the City
The Lovin’ Spoonful

It’s turning out to be a typical Washington summer: hot and very humid. I know. Last night our air conditioning simply quit. No announcement; no nothing. One minute I was nice and comfy and the next my skin stopped breathing.

I knew what was coming. As the evening wore on I could feel myself getting more and more uncomfortable. When it gets this hot it’s torture and people say things they might not ordinarily say. But I kept my mouth sealed. I knew the consequences.

Today, on my subway commute home I was shocked (as always) but not surprised to hear a summertime cell phone blend of geopolitical chat mixed with obvious and loud amour from a middle aged bureaucrat sitting nearby. It takes a strong man not to break under these meteorological conditions. But the heat had done him in.

Forget about Homeland Security, Bahar. I had them review the discussion three times before they made the final decision. What a-holes!

You’ve got an Iranian passport and a US one. You’ve got to get rid of the Iranian one if you ever hope of getting a job at DHS.

It’s hard to believe Washington, DC is the “Spy Capital of the World.” With this weather how can people keep anything to themselves? State secrets? Covert government policy? Cell phone conversations? Walk a mile (or ride rapid transit) in this humidity with your fellow citizens and you can gather all sorts of interesting “intelligence.” Wasn’t it three years ago today Robert Novak spilled the beans on Valerie Plame? A very humid day, if memory serves me. Spies take note: this is low hanging fruit.

In this post 9/11 environment the Axis of Evil speaks volumes. Are you loyal to the US or Iran? What happens when your parents get abducted in Tehran? Next time, renounce your Iranian citizenship.

The woman sitting next to me turned to the rest of us and announced: “Why he must think he’s still in his office. But he forgot his ‘Cone of Silence!’ Talk about leaks.”

Oh I miss you. I miss you honey. God damn it! But we’ve got to move on. They found the excuse, Bahar.

There’s nothing more I can say. You’ve gotta move on.

I miss you.

Keep cool and keep quiet.

• [ Washington, DC, Subway, Cell Phones, Valerie Plame, Robert Novak,
  Homeland Security ]