Archive for category: Mechanical Aversions

Today’s iPhone Lust-O-Meter Reading

05 Jul 2007
July 5, 2007 Life Outtacontext's Current Reading on its iPhone Lust-O-Meter. I have determined there is a direct correlation between iPhone Lust and physical proximity with the device. Handling an iPhone increases the desire to own one in direct proportion to the length of time it’s played with, I mean, used. In addition, watching a demonstration, even on TV, also increases one’s desire. Since yesterday was a holiday, and my direct contact with the iPhone and my TV viewing was nil, my lust level has declined Read more [...]

Spicing Up Your Marriage the High Tech Way

14 Jan 2007
January 14, 2007 No, not those implants! Spicing up a marriage with these silicon implants: Apple's Airport Express Sometimes it takes a bit of modern technology to spice up a marriage. A few well-placed silicon implants can do wonders. Last week I decided to upgrade our home wireless network. I had hacked an old DSL wireless modem to act as a router, broadcasting a wireless signal throughout our house. It had worked well for the last couple of years but we wanted more. Well, I wanted more. The signal dropped Read more [...]

Tech Support in Retrograde

20 Feb 2005
February 20, 2005 Mercury, the messenger of the gods, is in charge of all things that have to do with communication, electronics and transportation. And Mercury is set to turn retrograde for the next three weeks. During this time, it's challenging at best to get where you want to go or reach who you want to contact and dealing with computers can be an absolute nightmare. Fortunately, there's a purpose for everything. Right now, you're being asked to review, repair, redo, revamp and look things over for a second Read more [...]

Form Doesn’t Necessarily Follow Function: It’s Negotiable

01 Sep 2003
September 1, 2003 You think we don't know what you're doing?! Do you actually think you're fooling us? You're just pretending to clean our dishes. Well, yes, it did take us months to realize just what you were really up to. Every now and then we'd notice a piece of food cemented to a clean glass or bowl. At first we simply ignored it. We didn't want to believe you would turn on us. But when the evidence became a regular occurrence we were forced to call in a specialist who pronounced your computer brain utterly and Read more [...]

Domestic Tranquility: My Spotted Record

11 May 2003
May 11, 2003 I, the fashion maven that I am, have declared the 1960s are back! In particular that oh-so-special tie dye look. Well, ok, I messed up. But it really wasn’t my fault. I followed my wife’s point-by-point instructions for removing spots from my girls’ tops and now I have, sitting in front of me, a pile of clothes with all these wonderful patterns. I’ve convinced the girls they look cool and I’m reading them bedtime stories about flower children. I've got their interest Read more [...]

Sonic Bummer

26 Jun 2002
June 26, 2002 I knew it! I knew it! Earlier this month I mentioned that the sound of children's crying could drive someone mad. I suggested someone invent a deafening device to save parents from approaching the brink. One must be careful for what one wishes for. In a twist, the Pentagon has taken my research and is now developing a weapon that WILL drive people (i.e. our enemies) into submission using the cries of babies. Our government wants to harness the power of this innocent, yet untapped demographic to help Read more [...]
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