A New Flag For Our Lawn

03 Jul 2015
July 3, 2015

I suggested some alternatives to the realtor who plants American flags on our lawns every 4th of July.

When it comes to our little plot of suburban heaven, we are outliers. We couldn’t care less about having a perfect lawn. No monthly weed treatments and I do all the mowing. Some years, to make its upkeep a little less mundane, I do creative mowing. The best thing you can say about our grass is it’s green. And, if you squint, it looks lush and, well, even greener.

Every year we get a new and different lawn. And, by that I mean a new and different species of weed takes over. We are beholden to the wind and rain for our greens. Sometimes it’s long and bushy, but this year we were lucky. It’s thick and low —great ground cover that only requires mowing every month or so. The grass doesn’t get taller; it gets denser. So, this morning, as a prequel to the July 4th holiday I got up early and started to mow. We live at an entrance to a 500 acre park and many will be parking their cars next to our house to hike in. I didn’t want to be the embarrassment of the neighborhood.

Halfway through this chore I saw a woman walking down the street planting small plastic American flags by each house’s driveway. I’ve known this woman for over ten years. She is one of our local realtors and, even though she has denied it, this is a well-known marketing scheme in real estate. Our first conversation about it was over the phone in 2003:

I introduced myself and asked if she had been the one to place the flag in our front yard. “Yes,” she admitted proudly. “That was me.” I began by asking her if she had considered asking homeowners if she could place the flag on our lawns. The notion of land ownership is also deeply imbedded in the American psyche. We fought a civil war over rules of ownership. I didn’t appreciate her assumption I would be pleased with the gift she left in front of my house. She told me it would have been difficult to ask each homeowner as she had placed over 700 flags throughout the area. I suggested this might be a reason to rethink her act of generosity.

She didn’t quite understand my initial dismay but, over the years we’ve come to respect each other. She emigrated many years ago from Greece and I can appreciate her perspective. Now, she never places a flag on our lawn without asking and I don’t force her to listen to my didactic lecture on the selling of American patriotism.

So, when I saw her this morning I stopped my mowing to chat. At first, I didn’t recognize her and thought another agent had taken over the flag placements for her. Just a new hairdo and change of color. I was glad to see her. Our yearly get-together has become a 4th of July tradition. And we caught up on the last year.

Suddenly, I had an idea. “You know what would have been great?” I said to her. “If you had placed rainbow flags up and down the street instead of American flags.” She didn’t understand so I made the connection. “It’s so timely and would make such a wonderful statement.” She said that they have to order the flags months in advance so she couldn’t have known to order different flags back then. I told her I was just kidding, well in a “can’t we dream” sort of way. “Oh, wait,” trying to think of a twist she could relate to. “You’re from Greece. What if you had put Greek flags up and down the street to make a statement about the country’s debt crisis?” “Well, Greek Independence Day is celebrated in March,” she replied. Why do people always take me so literally? But I had one last thought: “The finals of the Women’s World Soccer Cup are Sunday. What if you put American and Japanese flags on lawns to celebrate that?” “Would you let me put them on your lawn?” she asked. “Um, maybe.”

When it comes to our little plot of suburban America, we are outliers. Way outliers.

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