As she boarded the Orange Line train for the burbs she sat down and immediately opened her David’s Bridal catalogue. Ever on the lookout for my next episode of The Theatre of the Barely Socially Acceptable, I surreptitiously observed her behind my iPod-induced playlist (always good camouflage). She quietly thumbed through the pages and I returned to India.Arie’s I Am Not My Hair. Suddenly, above the beat:
Hi, it’s me.
I’m looking at the bridal catalogue. Do you have it in front of you?
Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it? Men.
Well, ok. Now are you still set on brown for the bridesmaids?
Oh, and do you want the necklines to all be the same?
The V-Neck I tried on at the bridal shop wouldn’t work for me –too low cut–
It would show my cleavage.
I turned my volume down just a bit.
But you want Stacie to look good, right?
Yeah, even though we hate her we don’t want her to look bad.
You don’t want everyone saying “Yikes, she looks really bad!”
and draw attention away from you.
Right, all eyes should be on you.
Scoop neck? That’s perfect for me.
And just about perfect for Stacie.